people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
