Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
