She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
