Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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