A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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