The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
