so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
