none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she looked like the before picture.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I AM VODKA MAN
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
