were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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