Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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