Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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