ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
