Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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