I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm sobbing to NWA
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
