I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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