Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
