dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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