i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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