I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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