this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
