he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
