if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Randomize