All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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