I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
