office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
