): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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