Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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