I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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