If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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