Taylor Swift is so right about you.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
