Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
