dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
