If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
