...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
