We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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