Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
