My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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