she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
