maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
even my farts smell like vagina
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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