do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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