I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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