so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
