My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she looked like the before picture.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
