So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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