Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
