she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
