She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
