I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
