I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
