He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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