If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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