I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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