You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
