i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
they need to just BURY HIM!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
