WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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