Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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