I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So gin and wine won't be happening again
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
