strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
