didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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